The last few posts have been our miscarriage story and while it’s a sad topic, we wanted to tell our story. The reason why we told our miscarriage story was because I didn’t realize how many people had experienced miscarriage until I started telling people I miscarried. Many women have told me that they also have had a miscarriage. About 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in a miscarriage and yet somehow the topic of talking about your own miscarriage is taboo.
I remember sitting in the doctors office when they told me I was going to miscarry and how she tried to comfort me by saying most first time pregnancies end in miscarriage. I know she meant well, but I never heard that was the case. Lately, I see so many friends get pregnant and have healthy pregnancies and you can’t help but wonder “why couldn’t that be me?”. However, then I think to myself that maybe she also has experienced a miscarriage and I’ll never know.
5 Stages of Grief & Loss
For me, when I miscarried I went through the five stages of grief & loss. I was definitely in denial at first and just wanted to stay in my room and cry. Sean was such a big help during this time, but I know I was a mess and all over the place. Then I got mad at the doctor for no reason other than she told us the news we never expected to hear. I couldn’t help but think “what if we had just gone to the doctor’s sooner?”, even though I was still early on I felt that somehow that would have helped. After realizing that none of that was going to help, I was just sad. We had so many follow up appointments that it kept getting my hopes up and then we were let down again and again. After the D&C, I was finally able to feel that everything was done and we could officially start to heal and move on.
I always knew miscarriage was sad and that it was a loss for the parents but having gone through it myself puts things in perspective. Both Sean and I now have a much better grasp on what miscarriage means to the parents who went through the loss. We are much more sensitive to those who have gone through it.
I know it’s hard to talk about because it was hard to write. However, by telling our story I want people to know they aren’t alone. If you ever want to talk to someone, please contact me or send me a message on Instagram.