At the end of May, Sean and I flew from Los Angeles to Chicago and this was the first time I would be visiting Chicago. We flew out on May 19 and Sean took me around Chicago and I was having a great time being in his hometown and seeing where he lived all these years we talked.
On May 23, something felt different and I happened to have a pregnancy test with me. I took the test and it came out positive. I was shaking and I probably didn’t break the news to Sean in the best way but I came flying out of the bathroom and asked him if he also saw a line. He said he did. However, I still wanted to do another test to confirm so when we were out that day, I picked up a Clear Blue Digital with the weeks estimator. I wanted something that said “pregnant” or “not pregnant” so there was no guessing. I took the test and it said “pregnant”.
The thought of being parents combined with the fact that at this point, we had only been together for a little over a month (even though we’ve known each other for a lot longer) freaked us both out. We weren’t sure what to think and it took us both time to process everything. Even though we flew out together, the plan was that I would fly back to Los Angeles by myself and we would figure out what the next step would be once I got back. So on May 25, I flew back to Los Angeles by myself. I didn’t realize that I would take being away from Sean as hard as I did. At this point, we had been together every single day since April 15.
We continued to talk and Skype everyday. We didn’t really talk about the pregnancy too much. I had my first intake appointment with the nurse on June 2 and she confirmed my pregnancy. She gave me a bunch of information and set up my next few appointments. My first appointment with the doctor and ultrasound was scheduled for June 29.
During all this, we decided that I would fly back to Chicago on June 3 and he would be coming back with me and moving to California. We decided that we would rent a car and Sean, Bella (Sean’s dog), Persie (Sean’s cat), and myself would drive from Chicago to California on June 10. During that week I was back in Chicago, we had time to really talk about the baby and we ended up getting really excited for the pregnancy.
When we got to California, we started talking about all the things we wanted to do before baby got here. I was feeling super tired all the time and I was so thankful to have Sean here because he definitely took the best care of me. We were counting down the days to our first ultrasound so we could see the baby for the first time.
I’m sorry to hear of your loss. It can be so difficult to go through as a couple. Big hugs to you and your hubby!
Ahhh, I’m on edge to hear the rest of your story. So sorry for the loss. Lifting you all up in prayer and sending love your way. Love your blog!
I’m looking forward to part 2 but at the same time I’m not sure I want to read… the title alone leaves me fearing for whats to come! At 37 weeks pregnant maybe this isn’t the type of posts I should be reading…. Ah well, glad to have stumbled onto your blog, lovely posts xx
Kirsty | http://www.trackingtwenty.co.uk
Ooooh the ending of this is seriously so mysterious, and I am sad to know that the title is about a miscarriage because that’s not a positive thing and makes me sad to think about but you’re so brave for even putting this story out there and sharing it with us! xx Adaleta Avdic
I will be coming back to read part 2! The story so far has me intrigued. I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁
It’s heartbreaking reading this part of the story and hearing how excited but surprised you were, knowing it didn’t end the way you had hoped. What a difficult thing to face so early in your relationship, too.
Thank you for sharing your story – so many people go through such unfortunate circumstances during pregnancy and never talk about it. If we talked about it openly like this, we’d see so many others are going through similar things!
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I can’t imagine the heartbreak. I hope you are both doing well.